Throughout my life, I’ve allowed fear to cheat me of opportunities more times than I could count.  I’ve repeatedly failed to maximize circumstances because I assumed everyone else knew what they were doing in situations where I had no clue. I was embarrassed to admit my ignorance or to appear naive. I was afraid to look stupid. Ironically, this intimidation has led me to do some very stupid things.

I didn’t try out for the varsity baseball team as a high school freshman because I thought freshmen weren’t supposed to. That’s what several other kids had told me. So, despite wanting to, I waited until JV tryouts because I didn’t want to look foolish going out for varsity. It turned out that our information was wrong and two freshmen made the team that year.

In college, I selected a major for which I was ill-suited. I lacked any practical understanding of its real world application. And, even after coming to this realization, I never made any changes. I thought that people who switched majors seemed lost and I didn’t want to put myself in that group.

After college I took the first job I was offered. Not because it paid well or because it was interesting. I took it solely because I was embarrassed to be unemployed. At the ripe age of 23, I didn’t want to appear confused in the real world. I even remained in that industry for several years because I was too insecure to explore other options that were outside my narrow lane of understanding. God forbid I ask friends about their jobs or make a few awkward phone calls to investigate other careers.

It’d be nice to say these were all youthful mistakes.  But, I’m not sure that’s true. When I was younger, I didn’t know any better. Today, I know better, and still can’t help but feel the same apprehension towards new opportunities. I’m still afraid to look stupid.

Like we all do, I eventually figured some things out. I found a job, paid bills, and worked my way forward. Now in my forties, I wake each morning to a wife and kids, a house and a mortgage. I have a respectable career and it affords my family a good quality of life. I also have a list of dreams and it’s accompanied by a number of limiting beliefs that make me think my ideas are silly.  As soon as I dream of it, the intimidation of failing creeps in as well.  Before I’ve made a move, the fear of it not working overwhelms my thoughts.  I’m scared of being just another person who wasted time on a silly dream. Before I’ve done anything, I’m afraid of looking stupid.

I know it’s foolish to think this way. I know the pain will be temporary and that the piece of mind will outweigh any discomfort. I also know that if I do nothing, I will look back on this period with regret. But still, I can’t help myself. The fear is always there, and I suspect it always will be.

Whatever it is that you want to do, just accept that it’s going to be scary.  You won’t be good at it from the start.  You may never be good at it.  It won’t work the way you think it will.  It may never work.  But, that doesn’t matter.  Your fear is the real hurdle and it only exists in your head.  That doesn’t mean it isn’t real, and that doesn’t mean it’s not justified.  But, don’t let your fear be the thing that beats you.  Don’t be afraid of your opportunity.