“Hello.”

“Yo, sup?”

“Nothing.  What’s happening?”

“Nothing.  So, have you ever thought about how within airports there is a subset of societal rules that apply only within those terminal walls?”

“Wow.  That’s quite an opening.  It’s a lot to take in.” 

“Well, now that you’ve taken it in, have you?”

“Have I what?”

“Thought about it?”

“Can’t say that I’ve thought about that.  What do you mean?”

“Well, we were traveling last week and had delays on both legs of the trip, so we had plenty of airport time.”

“Were traveling with the kids?”

“Yeah, the whole fam.”

“Traveling with kids is brutal.”

“Brutal.  Even if everything goes right, navigating an airport with kids is awful.”

“Agreed.”

“Anyway, as miserable as it would have been normally, we had delays which added to our fun.  And, not that I saw anything new, but it was the first time I thought about airport behavior and how it’s unlike anything you see in real life.”

“I follow you.  Such as?”

“For one, where else do you see grown adults sprinting?”

“Sprinting?”

“Yes.  Think about it.  Who do you ever see sprint?  Besides kids or college and pro athletes, who ever sprints?  Even like people who workout and run, you don’t see them sprinting.  But in an airport? You see it every 20 minutes.  Not only that, you see people who haven’t had to sprint in a very long time.  It’s pretty hilarious.”

“Now that you mention it, you’re right”.

“You know?  Like some fat 50-year-old in a suit who’s late for his connection.  The guy was never an athlete to begin with, but now if he wants to make his flight, he has to sprint, or at least try to sprint, down the concourse in his wingtips with his computer bag slung over his shoulder.  Or even worse, it’s that same guy in casual clothes but he’s with his wife.  Nothing sadder than seeing his out of shape wife sprint-walk as she tries to keep up with her husband.”

“You make a great point. Short of being chased by an attacker, you’d never see her run.”

“Never.  I mean, if you saw an adult sprint down your street right now, you’d know there was a serious problem.  You just never see it.”

“Never.  Alright, what else?”

“Sleeping on the ground.”

“Sleeping on the ground?”

“Yeah.  Where else do you see adults, or anyone for that matter, sleep on the ground apart from a homeless person?”

“Hadn’t thought about that.”

“Exactly.  But in an airport, you routinely see someone huddled in a corner, using his bag as a pillow, just snoozing.  I mean, I guess it’s not really allowed at many indoor venues, but it’s still a sight to see.  People with just hours to kill so they lay down and sleep.  You know, it’s not like you see a middle aged guy doing that at the mall when he’s there with his wife.  You don’t walk through Dillard’s and see a guy who just can’t take anymore shopping curled up with his head on a wadded up jacket.  They’d call the police on that guy.”

“Yeah, and it’s not like they’re just there because they can’t find a seat.  They are genuinely sleeping for the purpose of getting rest.  They’re just doing it on the floor as someone sits in a chair next to them eating a prepackaged tuna sandwich.”

“Exactly.  The other thing, and we’re all guilty of this, is drinking in the morning.”

“Oh yeah.”

“I mean, we all have a morning drink at a football tailgate or at the beach, but you never do it on a Tuesday.  But, when you walk by an airport bar, that thing is packed.  Admittedly, some of them are starting their vacation, but I guarantee not all of them are.  But still, they are packing the bar, sucking down a screw driver at 8:00 AM.”

“Totally.  An airport bar is never empty.”

“Never.  But, the best part is that there’s no judgment.  We all agree to suspend our societal norms in the airport and so we just walk past them like it’s normal.  I mean, if you saw your neighbor with a mimosa as you were walking the kids to school, it would raise an eyebrow.  At your business breakfast, no one is ordering a drink.  But at the airport?  Hell, let’s have another round because our flight’s not for another 45 minutes.”

“I’ve got to hand it to you, you’ve opened my eyes.”

“But it was right there in front of you the whole time.”

“That it was.  That it was.”