“That’s when the light bulb went off”.

“That was the turning point and from that day on I was a different person.”

“There was my life before that moment, and then there was my new life from that point forward.”

We’ve all heard these lines, or something similar, countless times. They often serve as the backbone of speeches, seminars, movies, and books. The concept is romantic and it resonates with everyone. Within its context, it suggests that a person was a certain way, then experienced an event, and was forever changed. This event triggered a new found inspiration that finally allowed this person to become a better version of herself. It allowed the protagonist to become the person she’d always dreamed of becoming. The story, in whatever form we hear it, is captivating because we want that for ourselves. We want to experience that breakthrough. We want to feel that spark. And, we all want to reach our full potential. It’s a narrative we embrace every time we hear it. But, it’s also complete bullshit.

Maybe that’s wrong. I shouldn’t say it’s complete bullshit. I’m sure there are plenty of cases where individuals changed on a dime and were forever after better variations of themselves. But, I promise those cases encompass the very small minority. For the rest of us, it doesn’t work that way. There is no single event when everything changes. Yet, we’re all seduced by the notion of this life altering experience, so we wait patiently for our magical moment to arrive. As a result, we stay lost in the dark because we were promised a glaring spotlight and so we don’t notice the flickering pilot light in the corner.

You aren’t going to magically be discovered for your unrefined talents or intelligence. You won’t one day have the inspiration to exercise and eat healthy. You won’t one day wake up with the drive to write your novel. No miraculous event will cause you to suddenly cultivate relationships. But, that’s exactly what we want. We want that day when things finally “click”. We want that feeling we’ve seen in movies or read about in books. We want our lives to be taken over by a new mindset that changes us for the better. We want that because it would be easy. We want that because it sounds like something we think we need. And, we want that because the alternative is to continue our grind without any assurance that we’re on the right path. If only our thing could occur and strike a new chord in our soul, then this would all make sense.

The truth is that your moment isn’t coming. There won’t be a day when you finally “feel” it. The proverbial light bulb won’t turn on out of nowhere. Rather, the light comes on slowly. It’ll start with a speck that breaks the darkness and then grows at an imperceptible rate. It will require a lot of work and it won’t be easy. There will be setbacks and self doubt, and you may work for years and still feel like you’re running in place. But if you stick with it and if you’re willing to see it through, eventually, the light will get brighter and you’ll start to realize you’re no longer in the dark.