“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hey, man.”

“What’s up?”

“Nothing. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“You know what happened the other day?”

“What?”

“I had a sandwich for dinner.”

“Great story.”

“That wasn’t my point.”

“Hope not.”

“My point was, why is it weird to eat a sandwich for dinner?”

“Is it?”

“Yes. You don’t think so?”

“I haven’t spent much time on the topic lately.”

“Well, here’s what happened. I had to go to a work event, but it only included a few appetizers, not actual dinner. My wife had dinner with friends that same night so she wasn’t fixing anything. I knew we didn’t have anything at home, so I stopped at Publix to pick something up. I couldn’t find anything I wanted, so I opted for a sub.”

“I love Publix subs.”

“Who doesn’t? They’re great. I have them for lunch all the time. Anyway, I got my sub, got home, and ate. But, it was just weird.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Something about eating a turkey sub at 8:00 PM felt off and it kind of weirded me out. It’s like I was behaving outside the natural order of things. I mean, there was nothing actually wrong with it, but it was off just enough that it felt uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, I hear you. Like, going into work on a Saturday afternoon.”

“Exactly. Or, like if you have a super early flight and you’re showering and getting dressed at 3:00 AM. There’s something weird about it. Like our bodies know we are performing outside our normal pattern of behavior.”

“Like, blowing your nose with a paper towel.”

“Yes, you get the idea. We could go on and on.”

“Like having a nice scent because of your deodorant. Even though the smell is pleasant, there’s something kind of gross about it.”

“I think you follow what I’m saying. Things that aren’t necessarily wrong, but also just aren’t right.”

“Like working out in jeans.”

“What? No. When do you ever do that?”

“Like peeing in the bathtub.”

“No. Dude, now you’re just naming weird random shit. When do you pee in the bathtub? Or, when do you even take baths?”

“You started this conversation.”

“I was talking about eating a sandwich for dinner. You missed the whole point.”

“I didn’t miss the point. You missed the point.”

“Alright, I think we’re done. Later.”

“No, I think you’re done.”

“Bye.”