“Hello?”

“Hey, man.”

“Hey, bud. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just got back from our trip.”

“That’s right. How was it?”

“Great. The trip was perfect. We loved the place. Couldn’t have been better.”

“That’s awesome. Glad it worked out.”

“The only thing was –”

“Here we go.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Go on.”

“What do you mean, ‘Here we go’?”

“I mean that I knew there’d be something.”

“Don’t give me that shit.”

“OK, I won’t. Let’s hear it.”

“Alright, so, upon our arrival home, the airline lost my bag.”

“Ah, what a pain.”

“Seriously. The entire trip went great. Had the best time. And then arrive home and have to deal with a missing bag. I was that asshole looking pissed off circling the baggage carousel area as if the thing is just going to magically appear.”

“The worst. Whenever you’re in an airport, there is always that guy and you’re always glad it’s not you.”

“Well, on Sunday it was my turn. So, I go to the little office and fill out the form. They ask me what it looks like and ask about any identifying items inside. I also mentioned that I thought I saw it. Like, I was late to the carousel and was looking down the row and I swear I saw my bag coming around, but then nothing. I thought maybe someone else grabbed it. I explain all of this to the guy and he seems about as excited as you’d imagine.”

“Can you imagine caring less about something? Like, how little do you care about some dude’s lost bag? He probably fills out 50 of those forms a day.”

“I know. I also start asking what happens if the bag is lost. You know, like how am I compensated? He tells me that they always find them. ‘The bags always turn up,’ he assures me.”

“Did you feel assured?”

“Oh yeah. Real fucking assured.”

“Well, what happened?”

“So, he tells me how they’re insured up to an amount but again assures me that they always turn up. We leave and catch an Uber home. I’m pissed about the bag but mainly annoyed because I had been in such a good mood.”

“Yeah, that’ll take it out of you.”

“Anyway, we’re halfway home and I get a call from the guy who’d written up my claim. They had my bag. Some lady had taken mine by mistake and didn’t realize it until she was on the way home. She’d just come back and returned it.”

“So, did you have to turn around?”

“No, they had a courier who would bring it to the house.”

“So, catastrophe averted?”

“I guess.”

“What do you mean? You got your bag back and they were even bringing it to you.”

“Yeah, but that assumes a catastrophe needed to be in play. The whole thing was because some lady took the wrong bag.”

“And?”

“And?  The and is, how do you take the wrong bag? And, how do you not notice until you’re halfway home?”

“I guess your bag looked like hers. They all tend to look alike.”

“All the bags generally look alike. Next time you’re at the airport, look around. All the bags technically look alike.”

“Exactly. And, she mistakenly grabbed yours.”

“Have you ever accidentally taken the wrong bag? Like, got it off the carousel and walked to your car before realizing you had the wrong one?”

“No, but I see how it could happen.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Because they all look alike.”

“Everything looks alike. Car keys all generally look alike. But, would you ever mistake your keys for someone else’s? For that matter, cars generally look alike. Do you ever stand outside the wrong car wondering why your keys don’t work?”

“I’m sure she was older. I mean, it happens. What else do you want? You got your bag back.”

“I wanted her phone number.”

“Her number?”

“Yeah, but they wouldn’t give it to me.”

“OK, so you actually asked for it? Were you planning to harass her?”

“No, but I wanted to ask a few questions just so I could understand how someone picks up the wrong bag, despite countless warnings over the loudspeaker about doing so, then walks to the car, and puts the bag in the car all without noticing it’s the wrong bag. I wanted to know how that happens.”

“Well, as crazy as it sounds, I could maybe support that idea.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, it should be like a small social penalty. Like, ‘Hey, thanks for bringing the bag back, but as you know, you now have to speak with the owner and explain yourself’. Like, it’d be nice if people just understood that was the consequence.”

“Exactly. I think it’d make people be more careful. If they knew a stupid mistake carried the penalty of minor embarrassment and confrontation, people would think a bit more.”

“I like it. I think we’re onto something. Not sure how we get this started.”

“I’ll suggest it to the baggage claim people. I still have the number. I’ll call in the morning.”

“Do you remember who you talked to?”

“No.  All of the people in uniform kind of looked the same.”