I scanned the table and took stock of our party. All my buddies were here. We’d all been to the game and now we’d all gotten back across town for dinner. It was the same restaurant we’d eaten at after last year’s championship and in the 12 months since, we’d talked about that dinner as much as we had the game. The prior year had felt like a banquet. We’d laughed and hollered and given intermittent toasts to anything and everything. It’d been a magical moment shared by friends who rarely got to see each other.

Driving into town this weekend, I anticipated the post-game dinner more than anything. I looked forward to the jokes and the yelling and the drunken absurdity that was sure to ensue. I looked forward to being with my friends and to enjoying each other’s company away from the chaos of the day.

I looked around the table again. Everything was the same as last year…except, it wasn’t. It didn’t feel like it was supposed to. Something was off. There wasn’t the same spark. The laughs weren’t as loud. The jokes weren’t as natural. It didn’t feel like I’d thought it would. It didn’t feel the same.

The dinner continued into the late evening and the following morning we all said our goodbyes. I got on the road and began my four-hour drive home, thus concluding my guys’ weekend. As I drove, I reflected on the day and the game and the people I’d seen. But mostly, I thought about the dinner.

It wasn’t that anything had gone wrong. No one would have said it wasn’t fun. It was just that the night hadn’t been what I’d expected. I replayed the day over and over again in my mind, searching for the root of the problem. Although nothing about the dinner had been wrong, it had just been different.

It wasn’t the first time I’d done this. I’d done it with jobs, and reunions, and vacations. I’d done it with weekends more times than I could recount. In fact, I’d done it with just about every type of event I could think of. I couldn’t help it. No matter the setting, I’d try to recreate a moment.

I’m very fortunate to have had a good life and it’s been full of more fun times than I could have ever hoped for. So, perhaps it’s only natural that I try to relive those moments as much as possible. However, I’ve learned that life doesn’t work that way. Moments are magical for a reason. They are memorable because they’re unique and unchoreographed. Anytime you try to engineer that same magic, the result falls flat. It doesn’t mean the result isn’t fun or isn’t authentic. It just means that it will never live up to the original. It will be a carbon-copy of a prior memory, only the new image won’t shine as bright.

We’ve all had that one Christmas. The one when everything went right in every way we could have hoped. It was wonderful and we remember that Christmas as perhaps our favorite. But, that doesn’t mean we should use it as the measuring stick for every future holiday. That wouldn’t be fair. We’d be short changing the new memories to come and all the unique things that will make them special.

Maybe you’ve had that special day with your kids. Maybe it was a picnic on that sunny Saturday last spring. That day should be cherished forever. But, don’t get upset when the next attempt falls apart. When the clouds block the sun and the kids won’t stop bickering, don’t think of it as a bust. Don’t think that it didn’t live up to what it could have been. Understand that it was only meant to be a new day. Understand that it was simply different.

Life will provide you all the moments you need. Don’t ignore the new moments while you try to recreate your favorites from the past. This will only result in disappointment. All the events in your life are unique so embrace them accordingly. Don’t be upset when things aren’t the same, be excited about why they are different.