“Hello?”

“Hey, bud.”

“Hey, man. What’s happening?”

“Nothing. Tell me if you’ve ever noticed this, doesn’t it seem like email etiquette is required only from the individual who is lower in the corporate pecking order?”

“What?”

“Well, I’ve observed that more often than not, the quick, non-formatted emails I receive are from people who are senior to me. Or, they are from people who are a client of mine.”

“OK.”

“I guess my point is that a higher positioned colleague or a client knows they don’t need to be concerned with etiquette, so they aren’t. They will rip off a response in whatever broken grammar they please.”

“OK, now I follow. But, I think it’s just the circle of life, man. I mean after all, are you checking the margins on your emails to an intern?”

“Yes! I think that’s what’s bothering me. It’s just now dawning on me the time I’ve wasted structuring emails to the people below me.”

“Wow. Can’t believe this is new to you? This is an unwritten rule of office life. Email etiquette only goes up the chain. It doesn’t have to be reciprocated back down.”

“All this time. The hours I’ve wasted.”

“It’s a shame.”

“Because you know what really sucks?”

“Tell me.”

“When the sloppy reply comes immediately.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, like, when you have an important email to send, you’ll spend time crafting your message and structuring your sentences. You toil over wording and length. You read, edit, and revise, ensuring the email sounds intelligent and well thought out. You hit send and take a breath of completion. Then, within seconds, you get a quickly scattered, run-on sentence reply that requires you to start the process over again.”

“So, you don’t like it when they reply that fast?”

“No. I need time to feel good about my completed task. Not a lot, but at least a moment to feel like something was finished. When they reply immediately, it’s right back to scripting a new, contemplated email.”

“Have you ever tried not worrying about it so much? I mean, do you think they are actually admiring the diction of your emails?”

“Yes! Unfortunately, I have the crazy notion that it does get noticed, and that the one time I disregard the syntax of an email will be the one time it matters most.”

“Wow. I think it’s more a case of reading the audience. If they don’t pay much attention to grammar, they probably don’t care that you do.”

“That’s bullshit because I know I care. When a lower ranking employee sends you a typo-riddled message, how do you feel?”

“That they should be fired immediately for insubordination.”

“Exactly. It is a blatant lack of respect.”

“Well, shit.”

“What?”

“Now you’ve got me worried. I need to rethink some things.”

“Well, I’m sorry. And, you’re welcome.”