“Hello?”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hey man, what’s up?”

“Nothing. Alright, tell me if you’ve done this. You know those days when you’re just depressed? Not clinically or anything, but just down? For whatever reason, that day you feel like life is awful, you’re awful, everything is awful. You know what I mean?”

“Yes. Every Monday.”

“Exactly. Funny how often this happens on Monday. Not so much on Friday afternoon I’ve noticed. Anyway, on those days, have you ever felt tough for acting like you didn’t feel sorry for yourself?”

“Explain.”

“OK. On those days, I’ll mope around with my head down, sulking about life. My job is meaningless, everyone makes more money than me, I should be doing something more fulfilling with with my time, etc. All that shit. Eventually, at some point that day, I’ll go the to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I’ll take a deep breathe and remind myself that I have nothing to complain about. Life is good. I need to stop being such a wimp. Yeah, things are crazy at home, life is hectic with kids, but these aren’t problems. These are gifts. Then, I limp out of the bathroom and back down the hall with the same downtrodden expression only now with a beacon of pride guiding me forward. Sure things are tough, but I’m ignoring the difficulties and trekking on because people are depending on me. I have this new found pride that pushes me through these barriers.”

“Wow. That’s pretty good. I think I’m even proud of you now.”

“Thank you. But, later I laugh at how dramatic the scenario had been in my head. The truth is I’m tired. It was Monday and I’d drank all weekend. I wasn’t depressed and life wasn’t weighing me down. I was on a second day hangover and didn’t want to be at work.”

“Well, I’m still proud of you. Does this happen a lot?”

“Yeah, like you said, about every Monday. Sometimes other days. A nice kicker is if a co-worker asks if I’m alright because I “seem a little down”. Then I shrug it off and reply, “I’m fine”. This gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. It makes me proud of how tough I am. And, proud of how I won’t burden others with my problems. No, I’m not fine, but I’m man enough to own it and I don’t need to do any complaining. This line of reasoning will actually make me feel better in a ridiculous, perverse way. Is that completely insane?”.

“No, it’s not. I get it. Like, if someone asks if you need help carrying something and you tell him, no I got it. Of course it’d be nice to have a hand but for some reason we feel better about ourselves if we resist the offer and handle it alone.”

“Ummm…no, I don’t really follow you there. That’s just weird, man.”

“Oh, fuck you.”