“Hello.”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“What’s up, man. What’ve you got?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you always call with some issue you want to get out of your system.”

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

“So, what have you got?”

“Alright, so my boss has been particularly annoying lately.”

“How so?”

“He’s gotten into the habit of making his ideas or thoughts immediate priorities for everyone else.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for instance, if it occurs to him that he’d like to know everyone’s top five prospects, he will ask each team member to submit this information, along with a short summary, by 3:00 pm that day.”

“Doesn’t sound that ridiculous.”

“No, it doesn’t, if he did it once or if it was with something important. But, this is with everything. Anything he needs, it becomes the immediate priority. In the example above, it was 11:00 am. Most of us were about to head out for lunch meetings. Not to mention we had other shit going on that day. He just threw out this random task and demanded it take priority over whatever else we had that afternoon.”

“I mean, I get that it’s annoying but isn’t that pretty much what bosses do?”

“Bad ones, I guess. I don’t think being a boss just entitles you to jerk people around. It’s also not very smart. I mean, you’re disrespecting your people over relatively immaterial issues. It’s not a very good long-term strategy.”

“Agreed. It probably doesn’t serve you well in the long run.”

“You know what it reminds me of? And, therefore, why I think it feels so annoying?”

“No. What?”

“College cleanups.”

“College what?”

“College cleanups.”

“What is a college cleanup?”

“You don’t remember college cleanups?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about cleanups in college. You know, when someone in the house would crack and insist that the house get cleaned up?”

“No, I don’t know. And, I don’t know why you thought I’d know the random moniker you assigned to this event.”

“Well then, let me refresh your memory. If you were a guy in college, you inevitably lived in a house or apartment with other guys and that place was a filthy shithole. Are you with me so far?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, so, the place was always gross, save for once a month or so when it got cleaned. And, I’ll use “clean” in the most liberal sense of the word.”

“OK.”

“Well, whenever that monthly cleaning occurred, it was because someone cracked. Everyone under that roof became accustomed to living in squalor, or at least to a point. Sooner or later someone would crack and initiate a college cleanup. You with me?”

“I guess.”

“Look, say the place was gross and it stayed gross for three weeks. Then, on day 22, someone would wake up, realize he couldn’t take it, and begin cleaning. That guy broke while the other roommates were still content in the filth. The cleaner was initiating a college cleanup. Now, sometimes this was done quietly and alone, but that was the rare exception. More often, this guy would decide in that moment that he had the moral high ground and would begin shaming his roommates into helping. He’d begin complaining about how gross it was and how no one picked up after themselves. He’d casually forget that he’d also lived that way for the previous 21 days. The college cleanup always sucked because someone was being a dick and it was usually on like a Sunday morning. Ultimately, this guy was insisting that you do what he wanted because it’s what he wanted at that very moment. It was never suggested that later at 3:00 pm this afternoon we’ll all clean up. It was an immediate directive and you were harassed and shamed if you didn’t go along with this guy’s agenda.”

“Oddly enough, now I do recall what you’re talking about.”

“Right?”

“Right. I remember. It could be anyone. It just depended on who cracked first. And, it was always on a Sunday morning after a long weekend and someone would be an asshole and start complaining that you weren’t popping up off the couch to clean with them.”

“Exactly. And, that’s exactly what my boss does. It’s a corporate version of the college cleanup. It’s an ‘I want this immediately’ attitude. And, a “because I want this, you should want this’ mentality.”

“It is. It really is. So, what’s the solution? What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet. In college, typically if the same guy did it more than once on occasions that were far too inconvenient, there’d be a revolt. And, by that, I mean everyone else would just boycott the activity and he’d end up cleaning the whole place by himself or decide it didn’t need to be cleaned after all. This was always pretty funny for the boy-cotters because his continued shaming and harassment became comical after a point.”

“Well, you think the same strategy will work with your boss?”

“I actually think it might. If we all decided we weren’t going to do what he asked, or at least not immediately, I don’t see how it wouldn’t. He could reprimand all of us, but I’m not sure he would. I don’t think he’d go there.”

“Well, it has to be a collective effort. Everyone needs to be in it together.”

“Agreed. Has to be a united front. No one can cross the picket line.”

“Let me know how that goes.”

“Oh, I will. One for all, and all for one.”

“Sure.”