“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing. You know what pisses me off?”

“What?”

“The fucking weather man.”

“Yeah? You have an issue with a particular weather man?”

“No. I think my problem is with all of them.”

“OK.”

“So, last night I’m flipping around before bed and catch the news. I don’t know who watches the news anymore. This was the first time I could remember seeing it in a while. Anyway, this weatherman asshole comes on and does a little tease for his segment. He says something like, ‘if you’ve gotten used to this weather the last few days, then get ready for some changes as we’ve got some colder air moving in. More on this when I do my full forecast.’.”

“And this bothered you?”

“Yes. Very much so. It’s just fucking annoying. First of all, who are they capturing with this? Anyone who watches the fucking news is already going to be watching later. You’re not getting new eyeballs. People like me who happen to see this aren’t like, ‘oh, here’s my one chance to see what the weather will be like’. Anyone can just look at their phone. Actually dickhead, let me give you the fucking forecast and, while I’m at it, here are the next 10 days.

“Secondly, he teases the colder weather with this shit eating grin on his face. The same face you’d have when you’re pretending to have forgotten about your upcoming anniversary after you’ve already gotten your wife a present. You know that face? That’s how this asshole discussed the cold front that’s coming in after we’ve had unseasonable, spring-like weather. As if he has a fun surprise to unveil. It was the most off-putting display I can recall in quite some time.”

“Well then. You certainly are worked up about it.”

“Look, it was just annoying. The asshole talked about the upcoming cold front like it was a new federal holiday he was about to announce. It pissed me off.”

“Fair enough. You got anything else?”

“No, that’s it.”

“OK.”