I couldn’t believe it. There was no reason why this news was unbelievable, but my initial reaction was disbelief. John Bentman has a podcast? Why? What does he have to say on a podcast?

John was an old friend from college. He wasn’t a bad guy. Not at all. I actually liked him. But still, why him? What did he have to offer on a podcast? And, who listened to it? There couldn’t be more than 20 people who listened to whatever the hell he had to say on a podcast.

John Bentman and his podcast stayed in my head all day and I continued to shroud it with baseless negativity. How much time is he wasting on this thing? Does he not realize he’s not that entertaining? Did he think his little podcast was going to blow up and become a real thing?

It annoyed me to no end. It made me angry. It actually made me think less of him. And, it made me jealous.

This wasn’t the first time I’d felt this way. Far from it. There was the time I learned a guy from my high school was a stand-up comedian. Who the fuck did he think he was? Or the other guy from my class who’d a book published? I had hardly known him and definitely had never heard of him being creative. And then, there were all the guys I grew up playing baseball with who were now high school coaches? Move the fuck on, guys!

Who was I kidding? I was jealous. So jealous. I wanted what they had. They weren’t rich. None of them were famous. But, they each had peace. The peace of knowing they’d pursued a dream. I’m sure they had plenty of bad days and there were surely times they’d wonder about what else they may have done with their lives. Yet, they could all sleep at night content that they were fulfilling their passion. I wanted to sleep like that.

There was nothing holding me back. There was no cap limiting how many people got to pursue a passion. I’d like to say that every new story of someone else was motivating and a source of inspiration. Instead, my first instinct was contempt. Petty as it was, my first reaction was to discredit anyone who appeared to have escaped beyond the corporate 9:00 to 5:00. What should have been applause I manifested into resentment. Shame on me. Shame on immaturity. Shame on my pettiness.

So, good luck, John Bentman. Good luck with your podcast. I mean it. Good luck. I hope it’s a success. But, even if it’s not, it doesn’t matter. You’ve already won.