“Hello.”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“What’s up, man?”

“Nothing. So, listen.”

“Fire away.”

“So, with my job, I’m in a production role.”

“Basically, a more professional way to say sales.”

“Exactly. And, I call on companies and go to events and network and all that bullshit. So, there is a company that was a client but has recently left. It was an account I inherited so I didn’t know the owners all that well. They had a relationship with my former coworker. When I took over the account, I reached out to the owners countless times and never got a reply. They eventually moved their accounts without saying anything. The whole thing was strange, particularly because, 1) it’s a PR firm, and 2) anytime I’d see one of the owners in public, they’d be very nice. Like at an event, when it wasn’t really time to discuss business, they’d be all smiles. But then, they wouldn’t reply to emails the following week. Also, since they were an PR firm, it was strange that they didn’t communicate. I’d think they would advise clients to be upfront and stay on top of communication, yet here they were cowardly dodging my calls and quietly closing accounts without saying anything. It was just weird.”

“Wow. That was a lot. So, what are you talking about?”

“Sorry. Anyway, that was just some background. So, there are three owners of this company and one was a middle-age woman who was always the most friendly towards me.”

“Was she hot?”

“Not at all. Anyway, I see her as we are both exiting this auditorium where we’d just watched a panel discussion. There is someone holding the door open and I am slightly ahead of her when we see each other. We say hello in stride and I pause and hold an arm out indicating for her to go first and exit ahead of me. She takes this as an invitation for a hug. So, she then comes in and wraps an arm around my back and gives me a small little hug.”

“Do you hug many people at these events?”

“I do not. In fact, this was my first one and it was very awkward. Also, she, or at least her company, kind of blew me off and so she’s the last person I’d begin a hugging relationship with. Yet, here we are, hugging at this event like we’re old pals.”

“Uh, that’s interesting. Well, hey, you made a new friend.”

“That I did. But, it doesn’t end there.”

“No?”

“The next week, my car is in the shop and while I’m there picking it up, in walks my new friend.”

“And?”

“And, she comes in and gives me a hug. She then tells me about the issue she had with her daughter’s car and how she had to get a ride over. All this crap from this woman who I barely know and whose company pulled all its business away.”

“Sounds fun.”

“Exactly. It’d kind of be like having your ex’s boyfriend treat you like a new buddy. Simply due to circumstances, we aren’t supposed to be friends.”

“Well, you can still be nice.”

“Yeah, that’d be great…for her. That’d mean she got to basically break up with us without doing the hard part. There was no difficult call. No explanation of why they were going a different way. Just unreturned calls and emails and a slow removal of all their accounts. Then, after all that, she now thinks we get to be friends.”

“I guess I see your point. So, you think an enemy needs to be established?”

“Not necessarily an enemy, but I think it is one’s duty to go through with the hard part. I mean, if you change insurance agents, you either need to call that person and tell them or expect them to not like you.”

“I’ve never met my insurance agent. I wouldn’t do that.”

“Bad example. You wouldn’t break up with someone without saying anything? You wouldn’t quit a job without having the awkward face-to-face resignation. Or, if you somehow did, you’d expect that person or that company to not think highly of you.”

“Agreed.”

“How obnoxious would it be if you then thought you could just jump into a hugging basis relationship with that person? Just like nothing happened.”

“I see your point. The hugging basis is a hard call even with acquaintances. With a work enemy it’d be insulting.”

“Exactly. I was insulted by her assumption of our relationship.”

“Yeah, well, what are you going to do?”

“Shun her. Next time I see her, I’ll let her come in for it, and then shun her.”

“Shun her?”

“Yep. It’s like leaving someone hanging on a hand shake, but even worse. It’s a clear message of ‘Fuck off’.”

“Wow. You’ve really thought this through.”

“Yes I have.”

“Well, shun away. That’ll show her.”

“You bet your ass it will.”