“Be better than this going forward. Have more respect for the neighbors you build around,” I wrote.

Within an hour, he replied. “I apologize for the inconvenience. But, I will also say that I have great respect for all the neighbors around my projects.”

I wasted no time with my response, “Intending to be respectful and demonstrating respect are two different things. I don’t think you are consciously disrespectful, but I also don’t think you would have construction begin at 6:00 AM if it was next door to your own house.”

He didn’t reply to my last comment and it’s probably better that he didn’t. There was nothing else to say and I’d made my point.

I wouldn’t describe myself as a combative person and I don’t routinely gripe, but this had struck a nerve. We had construction going on next door and across the street. The previous homes on each lot had been scrapped and new, significantly larger, houses were being built in their place. It was a common theme in our neighborhood and the city in general. It was a sign of growth and was nothing to be upset about. The only issue was the inconvenience of a 12-month construction cycle which the surrounding neighbors had to bear. We were in month ten of the two projects next to us and it’s fair to say I was beyond fatigued. Thus, when the forklift cranked up at 6:00 AM Monday morning to unload the sod truck, I felt the need to speak up.

Generally speaking, I believed him. I believed he hadn’t set out to burden neighbors or be disrespectful. I’m sure he’d prefer things go smoothly and that his project not come under the ire of the neighborhood. But, I also believed everything stopped at his intention.

He wanted construction to be completed on time and on budget. Anything beyond that was a bonus. He didn’t have a mandate on the times construction started and stopped. He didn’t ensure the site was picked up so that trash didn’t blow into the neighbor’s yard. He didn’t control when his crews blocked up the street or when materials flooded into the road. He only hoped those things wouldn’t happen, or at least he hoped no one would say anything if they did. He also misinterpreted that hope as his intention to be respectful.

This is why he didn’t respond. He knew this was true and therefore he knew there was nothing to say. He just wanted to finish this job so that he could sell the house and be done with it. I knew this and I knew there was nothing I could do about it. But, that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to say anything.

The situation stayed with me all day and I ruminated on the theme of intention versus action. As much as I villainized this contractor, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was guilty of the same thing.
Were there places in my life where my actions fell short of demonstrating my intentions? Were there areas where I didn’t live up to the perception I had of myself?

My intention was to be a supportive and attentive husband. I wanted to be a selfless father. I thought of myself as a hardworking employee. And, I believed myself to be a driven, creative soul. But, was I following through on each of these intentions?

I knew I wasn’t perfect. I knew there were places I could improve. Maybe it was a good thing construction had started at 6:00 AM that Monday morning. If it hadn’t, perhaps I wouldn’t be thinking about all the ways I can be better going forward.